Torn

I LIED.I'M NOT FIGHTING IT BACK.INSTEAD,I'M GIVING IN.GIVING IN TO SICKNESS.GIVING IN TO PAIN.I'M RUNNING OUT OF FAITH.I'M RUNNING OUT OF OPTIMISM.I ATE AND I THREW UP,AGAIN.I WOKE UP THIS MORNING FROM A TERIBBLE HEADACHE.I KNOW I'M NOT FEELING WELL BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE I KNOW I'M NOT THIS ILL.I'M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS GASTRIC WHAT SO EVER TO LET MYSELF SICK AND WEAK.YES,I AM SICK AND WEAK.BUT I THINK THIS IS THE VERY LEAST THAT I DESERVE.IT IS TIRING BEING THE STRONG AND UNBEATABLE ME.IT IS EXHAUSTING.DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TIRED,HOW EXHAUSTED I AM?AND FOR THOSE WHO THINK THIS IS ABOUT LOVE,SCREW YOU.LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT LOVE.THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST THAT.LET ME BE UNWELL AND WEAK FOR A WHILE.THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TAKE A BREAK.I'M JUST A GIRL,OK?STOP EXPECTING ME TO BE A SUPERHERO.YOU'RE KILLING ME.YOU,YOU,YOU AND YOU.HAVE SOME MERCY.PLEASE.